Dorff tells us about her new role at The Magdalen House, a nonprofit organization that helps women establish sobriety, and shares her passion for the mission and why the work is so personally meaningful to her.
DOD and White House veteran Kate Irons Dorff tells us about her new role at The Magdalen House, a nonprofit organization that helps women establish sobriety and sustain recovery from alcoholism at no cost. Kate tells us how the pandemic has fostered a feeling of isolation for many women, making it more difficult for them to ask for help. She shares her passion for the mission and why the work is so personally meaningful to her. She also tells us the story of meeting her future husband, John, in the administration and recounts a powerful leadership example from President Bush that she witnessed in the closing days of the administration.
Q: You recently joined The Magdalen House in Dallas as director of development. What is the mission of The Magdalen House and what drew you to this opportunity?
I became familiar with The Magdalen House through our Executive Director, Lisa Kroencke, after attending a bible study through Highland Park United Methodist Church that she was teaching on how the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous apply to everyone at a spiritual level. I had lost my father to alcoholism several years before, and Lisa’s message of alcoholism as a disease and the hope found in recovery, for both alcoholics and their families, was life changing.
I was intrigued by Lisa’s story and her passion for recovery and I realized that this spiritual message of hope, even as a non-alcoholic, was at the very core of this organization. The Magdalen House is a nonprofit organization helping women establish sobriety and sustain recovery from alcoholism at no cost and based on 12-Step spiritual principles. It was founded in Dallas in 1987, and it remains the only agency in the Dallas-Fort Worth area to offer comprehensive recovery services – without insurance or state funding – 100% free of charge.
I joined the Board of Directors in 2016 after serving as Co-Chair of their first annual Leave a Legacy Fundraising Dinner. (Interestingly enough, we were honored to have Mrs. Bush as our Keynote Speaker at our 3rd Annual Leave a Legacy Dinner in 2019. It was such a joy to see her and hear her speak!) I served as the Development Committee Board Chair and Co-Chair of the Legacy of Hope Capital Campaign before joining the staff as Director of Development in July of this year.
The Magdalen House, affectionately known as “Maggie’s,” is the most unique agency I’ve ever encountered. Its message of hope and freedom surrounding recovery emanates throughout the community of women it serves, and its focus on educating the public on the disease of alcoholism deeply resonates with me. It is a privilege to be a part of a community of women who truly transform lives and epitomize the idea of women-led change. It’s extremely impactful when you begin to understand the nature of alcoholism as a disease and that the person struggling to overcome it is not morally bankrupt; they’re just sick. It’s not a choice whether to drink or not and, as a non-alcoholic, that’s a concept that is often times difficult for me and others to understand. Alcoholics are good, kind, wonderful people who have an allergy and an obsession, and our society depicts them as something entirely different. Our clients are mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, all of whom love, hope and wish for the same things all of us want.
And that’s the beauty of Maggie’s – not only do we provide a spiritual solution to a spiritual problem (it’s actually not about alcohol at all), but we provide education to the entire public, including families, on how best to address this underserved need and how the disease of alcoholism actually works, all at no-cost. The Magdalen House and its mission provides a gift to our community that goes beyond the alcoholic woman herself – it touches children, friends, workplaces, etc. – and it has enriched my life beyond measure.
Q: Have the disruptions and hardships caused by the pandemic led to a spike in alcohol abuse among women – what impact are you seeing at The Magdalen House this year?
The past seven months have certainly amplified the need for recovery services and we would argue that the isolation and stress caused by the pandemic has created an environment that makes it easier to drink and harder to ask for help. In a recent study published in Addictive Behaviors, the researchers’ results showed that, “COVID-19 psychological distress was only associated with greater drinking for women.”
When the pandemic began in early March, we were forced to re-evaluate the way in which we were able to serve alcoholic women seeking help. We reduced our capacity from 14 to 12 beds in our two-week, residential Social Detox program, grew our Next Step program three-fold when we transitioned to a virtual platform, and took all of our meetings and fellowship events to Zoom. While the pandemic has certainly created a crisis in terms of mental health and addiction issues, it’s actually allowed us to reach more people through this new virtual setting than we ever thought possible. Now, women from all over the country (and even internationally) can participate in our free recovery services from the comfort of their own living rooms, and we plan to continue providing these opportunities online even after things (hopefully) have returned to normal.
Q: What guidance can you offer your fellow BCAers if they know someone who is struggling with alcohol?
First and foremost, recognizing and understanding alcoholism as a disease is paramount to establishing the right foundation of recovery, for both family members and alcoholics. Furthermore, understanding that as someone who loves an alcoholic, you’re powerless to fix it. The alcoholic has to want to change first. Interventions don’t work. Attempting to “get sober” for other people (even someone’s own children) is ineffective. The best way to help someone with their alcoholism is to simply remove yourself from the equation and let them get to the point where there’s no one to go to except God (commonly referred to as “rock bottom”). Our ED, Lisa Kroencke, said something to me one time that I’ll never forget: “Sometimes, we (as a loved one of an alcoholic) are standing in between them and God. And that’s not a place you want to be.”
If someone you love recognizes they do need and want help, then the best way to start is to pick up the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, start reading it, and then ask for help. The beauty around the model of recovery as outlined in the Big Book is that sobriety is not only attainable, but sustainable, for life. Pills won’t work. Abstinence without faith is short-lived. Only communion with other recovered alcoholics, and their family members, will create the foundation for the solution of spirituality to take hold and grow. It’s so simple and it actually works.
If you’re a family member, I invite you to join our weekly Family Support meetings. They meet every Wednesday evening and it’s open to anyone who loves an alcoholic or addict. You can find more information at magdalenhouse.org/family. If you’re a woman struggling with what you think might be alcoholism, I encourage you to visit magdalenhouse.org/help to get plugged in and find help. And if you need men’s recovery resources, our team is happy to help connect you with our community partners as well. You can contact us at magdalenhouse.org/contact or email me at [email protected].
Q: On a lighter note, you met your husband John while you both worked at the White House. There are so many stories of Bush-Cheney campaign and administration romance. Can you tell us yours?
I met John while I was interning for a State Department entity in Washington, D.C. the summer after my sophomore year in college. John, after having worked as an intern on the Bush-Cheney Exploratory Committee in 1999 and working at the Department of Education after he graduated from college in August 2001, was employed as a political appointee at the Department of Agriculture. We met outside the Texas Tech intern house in 2004, started dating, and never looked back.
Fast forward a few years and we were both working at the White House – John was in Room One and I was serving on Mrs. Bush’s staff in the Social Office. It was the most magical and fun time for us both – sharing such unique and extraordinary experiences with each other, before we were even married, laid the foundation for our marriage and our future. The friends we made during this time have become family and we are grateful beyond measure to President and Mrs. Bush for allowing us to serve. (Plus, our engagement on the Blue Room Balcony is a great story, too!)
Q: Do you have a favorite story or leadership lesson from President or Mrs. Bush that continues to be influential in your life and work?
It’s hard to narrow down one particular influential moment during my time at the White House (as there were too many to count), but the one that comes to mind immediately was the last event that President Bush held for Gold Star Families the week before he left office. President Bush wanted an opportunity to meet with any family members who had lost a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan and hadn’t had the chance to visit with him in person yet. One of our OPL staff members was suddenly taken ill, and I stepped in to cover, and it was one of the most remarkable moments of my life. I watched President Bush stand in the Blue Room for hours on end, meeting with each family, without ever taking a break. He would step over the threshold into the Green Room to both welcome each family in and provide whatever comfort he could as their Commander-In-Chief. It still gives me chills to think about his authenticity and genuine love for those families as a powerful reminder of what it means to be a true leader. It wasn’t political, there wasn’t any press, just a President there to grieve with the families. That particular moment taught me that responsibility doesn’t necessarily come from external expectations, but instead from a deep and abiding love for others.
